Help Bloggess, help!

So, my current squeeze Jacob, no matter how hard I try, is not enthused by the Bloggess. I try really hard, I really do. I makes no sense because she’s amazing and uses words like “douche-canoe” which is close to many rollergirls hearts. I know he doesn’t like kitties, but when she fueds with William Shatner, I figured that would be that.

I’m still having issues persuading him, so after much thought. I thought it best to go straight to the source for help.

Dear Bloggess,

It has come to my attention that my current squeeze is not yet infatuated with you and your blog. This saddens me to no point because I honestly feel like you are A+++ and everybody should like you, even William Shatner (but I honestly prefer Leonard Nimoy, personally). It has put undue stress on the early beginnings of an awesome relationship. Because of this, it has been my mission to convince him you are amazeballs in all sorts of ways, at all costs, but also because I feel if he does not pay attention to your blog, he will be ill prepared for the zombie apocalypse and I like him too much to die from zombies.

Btw, instead of being afraid of nuclear wolves, I have devised that you should raise and train the nuclear wolves for the zombie apocalypse, use them instead of fear them! It is after all one of the hobbies I listed for my 10th year reunion, I received much interest in raising and training nuclear wolves, I believe it will be successful.

Back to the original problem, what should I do to convince the boy of your awesomeness? I’ve tried to bombard his facebook, but it’s looking unsuccessful. I’ve also employed some of my closest Rocky Mountain Rollergirls to persuade him, but he is unafraid. Help!

Sam aka Frak Attak

PS, you have a very very loyal following within the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, this will help you immensely in the zombie apocalypse. We are after all, on skates.

I’m hoping she’ll help, I’m at my wits end!!

UPDATE: She replied and I am content. Jacob believes he won, I’ll let him think that.

He’s in very good company. Victor doesn’t get me either, but he still makes an excellent husband. ~Jenny

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